Gospel John 6:1-15
Jesus went across the Sea of Galilee.
A large crowd followed him,
because they saw the signs he was performing on the sick.
Jesus went up on the mountain,
and there he sat down with his disciples.
The Jewish feast of Passover was near.
When Jesus raised his eyes
and saw that a large crowd was coming to him,
he said to Philip,
"Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?"
He said this to test him,
because he himself knew what he was going to do.
Philip answered him,
"Two hundred days' wages worth of food would not be enough
for each of them to have a little."
One of his disciples,
Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, said to him,
"There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish;
but what good are these for so many?"
Jesus said, "Have the people recline."
Now there was a great deal of grass in that place.
So the men reclined, about five thousand in number.
Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks,
and distributed them to those who were reclining,
and also as much of the fish as they wanted.
When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples,
"Gather the fragments left over,
so that nothing will be wasted."
So they collected them,
and filled twelve wicker baskets with fragments
from the five barley loaves
that had been more than they could eat.
When the people saw the sign he had done, they said,
"This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world."
Since Jesus knew that they were going to come and carry him off
to make him king,
he withdrew again to the mountain alone.
+Prayer: Come Holy Spirit, Creator Blessed and in my soul, take up your rest, come with your grace and heavenly aid, to fill the heart, which you have made.
"Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?" I love this question. Listen to each word and try to lift your eyes and look at the face of Jesus as He speaks them to you. "Where....can......we.....buy......enough......food.....for them....to eat? God is asking man how we can do something impossible? In the question we have our answer. Again-Jesus is asking: "Where? (what place to go to) Can (is it possible) we (you and I) buy (it will cost us) enough food (there are alot of people) for them (we can't even think about ourselves right now) to eat (it has to be authentically food what we procure)?
If we enter this passage 'watching Jesus' -the Ignacian method, really allowing ourselves to enter and be apart of this moment right there with the other disciples with Jesus on the mountain, then surely even though crowds were pressing upwards on the mountain towards them, they are noticing that Jesus is not perturbed, not anxious and he is patiently speaking to them. When you gaze at Jesus look into his face, what do you see? For me, I see absolute peace and a deep interest in their reaction right now to his question. It seems he is patiently studying the interior response of their hearts to the deepest question (Can God fulfill the deepest needs of the human heart-is He enough?)
Did Jesus ask this question to stir up their fear to agitate their hearts...our hearts? What do we know that Jesus has said countless times? Perhaps..."Be not afraid" might come to your mind....so then why Does Jesus ask the question? Everything our Lord does has a purpose. We must seek it out prayerfully. It seems to have a great deal of meaning and purpose. How many times have you and I been faced with an overwhelming 'problem' and we don't necessarily see the solution. Maybe a roof needs repairing right now and you don't have the money, or you need a new furnace, or car. Or you loose your job and cannot see how you can possibly manage all the expenses coming. The "Where will we..." question seems a very real question. Why does Jesus invite us (in a sense) to question ourselves at this moment? Does Jesus want us anxious? Does He want us full of fear? That's not Jesus- so why?
Perhaps one reason why Jesus asks the question, is that we come to a place of realizing; That I can't do it by myself (Humility is Truth) and secondly I need Jesus to do what only Jesus can do and that is; a miracle in the situation. Confidence in God, moves us away from ourselves and our fears and into the arms of God, who can do all things, even the impossible is possible.
Where in my life do I find a question arising of how will I be able to do something, or where will I get ...What is Jesus showing me to let go of, and to let him do it? Where is Jesus inviting me to place all my confidence in him?
" Let us not grow tired of prayer; Confidence works miracles" (St Therese)